This Understanding About Death 1-17-92
It's just a part of life
and for me to be afraid of death,
to ignore death or to hide death
would have that part of my life confined
unable to grow spiritually.
That would take away from me
the freedom to live life
to its full potential.
Writing about death
exposes my feelings,
my thoughts an my fears about death
of the people around me
and within myself.
In doing that I can find
an acceptance of death
and I am able to live with death freely
no matter how morbid it may seem.
2008/10/31
2008/10/26
The Star
The Star 8-25-83
Sometimes I like to look at the stars and think.
One night I discovered a new star.
I never saw it before nor one like it.
It was bigger and brighter than any other star in the sky.
It seemed like I could reach out and touch it.
It gave me the chills.
I sat and admired my new star.
I don't know why but it looked like the star started to cry.
I watched it very carefully,
and after a few minutes it winked at me.
I winked back and said
"Hello star. Where did you come from?".
and as casual as jelly on toast in a child’s voice it said
"Well my friend, I came from the earth like you
but I had to leave for my new home up here
and I've been sitting here for about seven years
waiting for you to think of me
and notice me.
I didn't know if I should pinch myself
to see if I was dreaming
or to talk back
so I sat still
and after a moment of silence, the star said sadly.
" I have a new star moving next door to me pretty soon.
I just hope you don't take as long to notice her
as you took to notice me
because I missed you."
Just then I realized why the star was crying
and started to cry myself.
I'm sure there are more stars of mine out there
and everybody has at least one
but maybe didn't find it yet.
How about you?
Author's note: I had a dream that my grandmother was talking to me about dying and in my dream she was a star. As a kid, I recall looking up trying to see where heaven was after my brother was killed. Stars in the sky was about 6 months after the accident. I didn’t connect the two (the accident and the crying stars) until seven years later when my grandmother talked to me in the dream. Five days after that dream, the same number of points in a star, my grandmother died.
Sometimes I like to look at the stars and think.
One night I discovered a new star.
I never saw it before nor one like it.
It was bigger and brighter than any other star in the sky.
It seemed like I could reach out and touch it.
It gave me the chills.
I sat and admired my new star.
I don't know why but it looked like the star started to cry.
I watched it very carefully,
and after a few minutes it winked at me.
I winked back and said
"Hello star. Where did you come from?".
and as casual as jelly on toast in a child’s voice it said
"Well my friend, I came from the earth like you
but I had to leave for my new home up here
and I've been sitting here for about seven years
waiting for you to think of me
and notice me.
I didn't know if I should pinch myself
to see if I was dreaming
or to talk back
so I sat still
and after a moment of silence, the star said sadly.
" I have a new star moving next door to me pretty soon.
I just hope you don't take as long to notice her
as you took to notice me
because I missed you."
Just then I realized why the star was crying
and started to cry myself.
I'm sure there are more stars of mine out there
and everybody has at least one
but maybe didn't find it yet.
How about you?
Author's note: I had a dream that my grandmother was talking to me about dying and in my dream she was a star. As a kid, I recall looking up trying to see where heaven was after my brother was killed. Stars in the sky was about 6 months after the accident. I didn’t connect the two (the accident and the crying stars) until seven years later when my grandmother talked to me in the dream. Five days after that dream, the same number of points in a star, my grandmother died.
2008/10/21
Of Whispers and Tears
Of Whispers and Tears 1-16-92
Subdued.
This vast sea of silence
and the still moon rising
has me listening to the stars.
Of whispers and tears,
the prelude to sleep
for this day’s end.
The morrow skulks
and the yester lingers.
Crepid fingers
in the waking hours
and some feeble attempt
to write my first thoughts
or even
my last recollections
of the unconscious
before they dissipate
or make sense.
Subdued.
This vast sea of silence
and the still moon rising
has me listening to the stars.
Of whispers and tears,
the prelude to sleep
for this day’s end.
The morrow skulks
and the yester lingers.
Crepid fingers
in the waking hours
and some feeble attempt
to write my first thoughts
or even
my last recollections
of the unconscious
before they dissipate
or make sense.
2008/10/17
Stars in the Sky
I've been reading my journals for the past couple of weeks. Even though I have written things years ago, some more than 30 years ago, I may still post them. A good example is the entry "Stars in the Sky". It so happens I wrote it 30 years ago to the day and it is one of the oldest writings I can find with a date on it. Many of them I never dated. In the big picture, old entries may be relevant. I'm not going to copy my journal and paste it into this blog. I will post what moves me at the time.
Stars in the Sky 10-17-76
Beautiful sight
late at night.
The stars in the sky
it seems
they begin to
cry.
I don't know.
I just don't know why
they
begin
to cry.
Stars in the Sky 10-17-76
Beautiful sight
late at night.
The stars in the sky
it seems
they begin to
cry.
I don't know.
I just don't know why
they
begin
to cry.
2008/10/08
Don't Expect Anything Epic
"At times it is easier to endure the heartless world in the comfort of your family; At times it is easier to endure the departure of comforts in the heart of your family".
I originally wrote that down on 2007/01/19 but I needed an opening post for the blog. Didn't want to take the time to try and be epic right from GO. So I went with something I believe in and feel can be truthful, but yet concise. Did I mention that I talk in circular references sometimes?
What do you say when the parent of a friend dies? What if the relationship between the parent and child was close? How can visiting relatives help share the pain if having them around is kind of a pain?
Those are all rhetorical questions of course. When one needs an opening post to a blog before they go to bed, they should stick to the truth. Save the pleasantries and niceties for decorating cakes and sweet dreams.
I originally wrote that down on 2007/01/19 but I needed an opening post for the blog. Didn't want to take the time to try and be epic right from GO. So I went with something I believe in and feel can be truthful, but yet concise. Did I mention that I talk in circular references sometimes?
What do you say when the parent of a friend dies? What if the relationship between the parent and child was close? How can visiting relatives help share the pain if having them around is kind of a pain?
Those are all rhetorical questions of course. When one needs an opening post to a blog before they go to bed, they should stick to the truth. Save the pleasantries and niceties for decorating cakes and sweet dreams.
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